I read a really interesting article the other day about the New Hampshire state medical examiner and how he is quitting his job because he is so overwhelmed by the opioid epidemic.

At 60, he’s not throwing up his hands and walking out. Instead, he is changing careers and entering the seminary with the goal of ministering to young kids before they get hooked on opiods. He wants to make a difference before they end up as a statistic on his table.

The article went on to say that cities all across the nation are struggling to keep up with the increasing tide of overdoses, with no apparent end in sight.

It’s sobering, really. I’ve had my share of struggles through the years. I remember especially feeling lost during my teen years. Drugs were never something I thought of as a means of coping or escaping.

I relied on my faith in my creator and my guitar to pull me through. Not that I didn’t struggle with the darkness, because I did. But thankfully I never lost my way.

In the end, we’re all just trying to find ourselves, aren’t we? Where we belong, where we feel safe, where we feel loved, who we’re supposed to be.

I was pondering this a few years back after having gone through a particularly hard time as an adult. I penned this song as my cathartic means of finding answers.

I’ve Got To Find Myself
Why do I get uptight so easily
Could it be the chains of my past still have a hold on me
A cup of anger each morning before I leave
A serving of fear, and a glass of insecurity

Chorus
I’ve gotta find myself
All that was stolen
Be who I was meant to be
I’ve gotta find myself
Mend what was broken
Heal the hurts I have so deep
I’ve gotta find myself… This person called me

So many people with stories like a book you can read
But the cover on the outside is much different than the pages beneath
We spend our time portraying what others believe
Hoping no one discovers we’re not what they perceive

Chorus
I’ve gotta find myself
All that was stolen
Be who I was meant to be
I’ve gotta find myself
Mend what was broken
Heal the hurts I have so deep
I’ve gotta find myself… This person called me

Bridge
Lord, look inside my universe
Uncover all that I’ve concealed
I’ve been in reverse
Letting yesterday take the wheel

Chorus
I’ve gotta find myself
All that was stolen
Be who I was meant to be
I’ve gotta find myself
Mend what was broken
Heal the hurts I have so deep

Oooh
Uh-huh
Yeaaah
I’ve gotta find myself…

I know I’m still on the journey. I’m not sure I’ve really found all of who I’m meant to be. But I do know I’m on the right track and for that I’m grateful.

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