We finished the newest single last week. The Shallow Game is officially released and offers a musical look at why perhaps sometimes relationships don’t work out. You can give it a listen here:

johntracymusic.com/product/the-shallow-game

If this song speaks to you, please download it for your music library!

I should probably clarify right off the bat that this song is not reflective of my relationship with with my wife. However, sometimes, our relationships don’t really work out like we envision, be it with a significant other, family or friends.

This is nothing new – we’ve all experienced it. I just found myself thinking about all of this one day and wondered if maybe The Shallow Game might be one of the reasons why some relationships just don’t work out. It ended up being great material for a new song.

Looking back on my life so far, for me this failed-relationship situation happened with my father. We never had a relationship beyond being from the same bloodline. Sadly, ours was a shallow connection. I’ve come to realize that being a father meant something different to him than it does to me.

Being around him always made me feel like I was drowning and unfortunately, those same feelings come back to me on those occasions when something reminds me of him. I suspect as he neared the end of his life, he realized he missed something big. But unfortunately by then, the chasm between us had grown too deep.

I don’t share this to speak ill of him or besmirch his reputation in any way. I share it because I’ve learned many of us have experienced the same thing and it helps to know we are not alone. For a long time I carried guilt with me, thinking somehow I had fallen short. I finally realized the issues didn’t start with me. They came from his past and his upbringing. It makes the hurt just a little easier to bear.

Sometimes, relationships just don’t work out. One party or the other just doesn’t want to make the changes necessary to close the gap, if they even recognize there is a gap, let alone where it came from. When that happens, the best we can do is walk away. Forgive – that’s paramount. Forgetting – that’s harder, but with each bad memory we forgive, the healing dulls the sting of the memories.

I’m not there yet, but I’m working on it.

This may be more insight into my personal life than you bargained for. But these places are where my music comes from – the nooks and crannies of the experiences of my life. And my hope is that the music stirs you and brings a bit of light into your life.

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